Other than taxes there is only one other thing that can be counted on in this life. When that occurs, families can experience many challenges, most packed with emotion. Hence ... Real Estate … Siblings …. And The Estate. In the case of the last parent passing, the children are faced with closing the estate… together. In a perfect world this would be a way to heal, bring closure to the family, and create new family memories. Unfortunately, not everyone processes death in the same manner and that often contributes to the challenge of working together during this trying time.
One of the first things to be aware of is that you are not all of like financial means. One may be well-to-do and in no hurry to close the estate, while the other two are working overtime trying to make ends meet and are unable to take time off to tend to the estate. The money will mean a lot to them. It takes time to make all the decisions and take the action to get a property that you inherit ready for market. Bickering only causes delays.
Depending on how soon after your parent’s demise you begin the process, understand that some of you might not be emotionally ready to do this type of business. Your parent was your world and now you are left to conduct her business affairs. You will see and hear her everywhere as you go through the belongings, paperwork, etc. One of you will be emotionally stronger at this time and better able to comprehend what is needed to be done. Defer to that one if you aren’t ready, and if you are that one – understand what your siblings are experiencing and give them some room.
Got a slacker in the family? Oh, well. He’s probably been that way his whole life and you aren’t going to change him now. If you are the Trustee and he isn’t doing anything, be sure to get your Trustee fee. Many times people roll on that… before they know how much work is really involved. You will be nominally paid for your time, but it can be a good mental massage when you think you are going all the work.
Your agent can help coordinate things between you, your attorney, and often between the siblings. Sometimes it’s easier to say something that’s on your mind to a professional that is helping you than directly to a sibling. These conversations can include the timing of removing the personal belongings, who gets the chandelier that was brought over on the boat from Italy, etc. Don’t let this time break down the family. Money is involved, but blood is much more important than money. Respect one another, work together, get professionals involved, and you will find the process to be tolerable and in the end satisfying as you meet your parents’ wishes.
Our Advice: Real Estate … Siblings …. And The Estate Remember that you are all family. Regardless of how your lives have gone, you all came from the same source and and are all he beneficiaries of the continued love emanating from your parents. Each of you are special in the eyes of your parents and there is no doubt you are all unique in your personal interests and abilities. Embrace those differences and work together one last time as a family to appease your folks. It is, after all, their desire that you get what you are getting from the estate. Remember, they could have given it all to the SPCA and left you to fend for yourself… and grow.
It isn’t automatic that your parents’ estate be given to you. If it happens to you and your siblings enjoy the process, share the memories, and keep the family joy in your hearts while you are thankful for what you have.
Real Estate … Siblings …. And The Estate
When it comes to choosing professionals to assist you with your real estate needs ... Experience is Priceless! Lisa Wetzel and Jim Valentine, CDPE, SFR, RE/MAX Realty Affiliates, 775-781-5472 firstname.lastname@example.org, www.carsonvalleyland.com
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